4.18.19

Watch a woman get ready
To go out with her friends
She puts the war paint on
Color glistens her eyes

I won’t pretend that it’s okay.  It’s not.  Never will be, but this will not be what defines you.  Only you can decide what your life becomes.

You’re so pretty
Too pretty to be out
Stay in
with me

Cruelty blinds men into believing they are invincible, right before they fall.

Twenty-eight days
until I hold you.
That’s four weeks
of seven days,
six-hundred
seventy-two hours
’till stars yawn
and groan,
and say “finally
you two can see
if fate is real,
and we’re all pawns.”

4.17.19

“Poverty should not be a crime.  But it is punished just the same.”

Things get worse before they get better
That is the way of Things, so They say
I say you never see rock bottom
If you can look back and laugh

It doesn’t bend all the way
Feels like there’s cables
Caught on a hinge
Fraying at the edges
Rolling over bone
Snapping like rubber bands
Burning like static shock
Aching like an anvil pressed
Against the sides
Always loose but
Always wrenched tight

Assumptions we make based on a
fragile glass menagerie, precarious
on a tight-rope stretched over the
amber desert canyon and the roaring
torrents running through it, so easy
to plummet and shatter and break
like so little nothing loves before
we were forged in iron-clad truths
few things are built by destiny
we were made to be the last

4.16.19

Food, like life, does not have to be expensive. It just has to be filled with love

I fear
What I cannot control
I cannot
Control everything
I fear
Everything

How do you trust someone
to be who they say they’ll be
when they’ve let you down
and you’ve let them go
before
six thousand miles
six time zones
six years of wrong decisions
sixty different anxieties
alone

When you’ve finally grown
accustomed not to have
to, It’s hell
to sleep alone

4.13.19 - Recovery and Excerpts

“We must respect space, it is a savage place.  Carry on, and take the legacy of those lost with you.  Share their stories, as someone will one day share yours.”

A month and a day ago I blew out my knee.
Today, I went to the gym for the first time, since.
I am grateful, to be this far, to have help along the way,
yet, reminded of how far I have, still, to go.

“Purpose, that’s what I’m searching for.  Maybe I’ll find it amongst the stars.

The 5th draft has been uneven, since 25 staples.
But there’s been constant progress. Always, forward.
Not just in the book but in life. Constant, changing, progress.
In reflective quiet, remember the positives, first, and last.

“A starship is made for connecting distant lights.  Each point represents choices, changes, and new direction.  Every time I ferry this trip , I am reminded of that. You all will make choices.  Some good, some poor.  No matter what choices you make, own them.”