sixth draft finished
hand-written notes
in margins, in purple
filled binder, in hopes
a kid threw a desk today
I pointed out he was mad
he made another kid sad
because they were fat and slow
asked him why and he blamed
everyone else, even the victim
so he flipped a table instead
of asking himself why am I
What else is there to do but
Take a knee and ask the girl
For real, this time, to marry you
A draft and a first week down
Wheels simmer on hot ground
Wedding rings came in the mail
Can this be real, can this be now
I’d like to keep this life around
It might be dumb but I’ll try it
A big lie but today I’ll buy it
Conversing about big risks
Versus big rewards if
She stays and stays true
So I’ll watch the time go by
And wait an hour for you on
a June summer afternoon
Everything is a system, work it to your advantage
Seventy-two hours later and we’ll be
curled up on this couch together
Love a paradox, one of thousands. You learn to live with them.
Maybe its better
if I just let it go
keep telling myself
its okay even though
there was once
when it wasn’t
okay but then once
doesnt always mean
it will happen again
because sometimes
lightning only strikes
once in a lifetime
People can find meaning in another person, and risk getting hurt. Sometimes they they can do everything right and still lose.
Stop expecting everything
to go wrong
Or it always will
People don’t believe it’s possible to live without health issues, hunger, homelessness, or suffocating debt.
I’m scared.
Mainly that it won’t happen.
Scared that this might actually work.
I think that scares me more.
This might be real.