I often wonder how I'm going to look back on this. Ten years from now, how will I feel about my choices right now?
I'm pushing so hard. Two and a half hours in the gym daily, wondering if someone will finally ask, "Who hurt you?" Averaging a page a day, more or less. Spending Friday nights with the boys at the house, going to a Marvel movie, or practicing Road Atlanta on Forza 7. Am I going to be proud of the choices I made? Will they have been the right ones?
Past third person direct tense is hard to write, I've noticed. Especially when I'm converting from single person present. It's getting there, and I'm fleshing more things I knew needed to be fleshed out. The 'villain' of the first book isn't really a villain. I hope I can humanize him a little and make it appear that we're all cogs in a machine, with free will to clog of speed up.
Taylor Swift - End Game (ft Ed Sheeran and Future)
I wonder if this is how George RR Martin felt when he killed characters like Hodor. Innocent, seen the future. Could save everyone, save for the fatal flaws.
It makes me sad to the point that it's sometimes difficult to write her scenes early on because I know I don't get to continue that path past the first book.
It's even crazier when you're me, and you know who each character represents.
It's kind of fun. Maybe therapeutic? I hope if people read it, and figure out who's who they are happy with what they read. Because it's only the important people that have left an imprint, that's who I include.
Elmore James - It Hurts Me Too
Will I remember the the work, that it lead to success? Or will I remember the loneliness, isolation, and see it all as another waste of time?
Charlie Puth - How Long
Either way... I want to remember it was worth learning I could do it. That I could commit to a goal for longer than I ever planned and I'm even more committed after feeling progress both physically, emotionally, and writing-wise.
Now... what to do about next year?