I don't like saying Merry Christmas. I'm more an ironic-yet-stupid reference kind of person. Probably just a more adult version of a thirteen year-old's awkward sarcasm.
Kings of Leon - Beautiful War
So, let's go with goals. Not resolutions, but goals for 2018. Goals can be achieved, clearly defined. To myself to read later this year when you feel lost, remember:
1) Work out between 3-to-5 times per week, 30 minutes of lifting, an hour of cardio each time. Join a gym if you have to. Maybe start at Planet Fitness since you're not yet ready for Lifetime Fitness. Maybe once you've gotten a bestseller and are on your way to a first quick divorce because of a midlife crisis at 40, but are able to keep the Porsche... that's when you go the Planet Fitness route. For now, keep using your work gym, graduate to Planet Fitness when you're ready. Stay humble and hungry.
2) Open the rough draft at least an hour a day. Write a paragraph a day. Even if it's shit, write one full paragraph of text (not outline). More if you can. Even on the bad days when you can't focus, train your mind to center and focus on the story, where it is. Let it feed you through lonely nights like tonight.
3) Pay down debt. Get at least one credit card completely cleared. Don't go into the savings fund. Don't buy shit you don't need. You don't need any 'thing.' You need work, focus, and experience. You need people, sweat, and tears. You need food, laughter, and kindness. You need to see the signs of success. These aren't 'things,' they're events. You need events. You need moments. You need to see the stars through the foggy city lights.
4) Be true with tender hearts. Don't lead on, be honest. Explain where you are. Don't lie because you're lonely. Be upfront, and despite the disappointment or the missed chances for a probably weak lay, don't settle for regretful sex when you can build yourself into a better soul to love. And as you follow through on one through three, don't just shrug your shoulders and be passive. Be a part of lives, observant. Be kind with open ears and eyes. Think through your words more as to how people would take them, instead of the meaning being clear to you. Sometimes people can't make your leaps of logic. Instead, be the guy people want to be around.
5) And for the Universe's sake, LOVE YOURSELF and FORGIVE YOURSELF. Otherwise, how will anyone else be able to?
Alabama Shakes - Goin' To The Party
I'm not going to post many of these publicly, but I'm getting more and more into poetry and short narrative warm ups. Maybe I'll collect them one day and put them out there. But if I like one and I think it's decent enough... or I'm just bored, I'll put them out there. No one's reading right now anyways so what's it gonna hurt?
perpetual adolescence
judgement
‘moral’ and piety
right-baked deities
for ‘proper’ society
married, two kids, six-digit income
unhappy, but an IRA
a steeple on Sundays
praying to a god
they don’t believe in
or worse, when
they do
believe
sin
‘lost’ but survivor
on your own, alone
with others, brothers
no love, no kids, five-digit debt
a Four Roses bourbon
peace, tree to smoke
writing a story
only you believe in
for lost, loves
one more
chance
speak
begging words
spoken out loud, not
read between lines
half-held words caught in lungs
spoken, or typed faces
waiting for signal flares
game of chicken
head-on collisions
or veer, off
never saying
goodbye
Oh... before I go. This is a great jam for being freshly 35 on Christmas night, alone with bourbon, your thoughts, roommates in other rooms, propped up on the couch and working hard to distract yourself from an obvious, sad truth that you want to be different but it ain't up to you.